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"MR.
GORE, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL"
Having
"Invented" the Internet, and 'Current' the 1st
television network for the new generation, Al gore premature
revealed Himself as a god earlier today. The statement was
retracted two hours later when ratings showed only 10 households
tuned to the network.
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FEATURED
STEVE
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LANGUAGE
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CARLTON:
THX 2938
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ASK
STEVIL
Responses
How is a penny
made?
-E to the M
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Dear
East to the Mississippi,
While
many would view the penny as a superfluous, unnecessary
denomination of currency they provide a vital service
to society. The average height above sea level in
the United States was considered for several hundred
years as “too high”**. Travelers and adventurers
found this height to be a constant nuisance. Ships
ran aground many feet short of the shore, sundials
ran fast and cats, when dropped, would always look
like they were going to land on their feet but would
some how always land on their side. The fledgling
American government understood that to increase tourism
and foster new business. This slight overabundance
of size must be corrected. To do this, the continent
needed to be weighed down enough to take the debilitating
strain off of the universe. The weight had to be distributed
somewhat evenly to insure a balance and level land.
The penny was introduced as a simple weight that any
and all citizens could acquire and keep on their person,
unknowingly helping to lower the country three and
a half feet to the absolute, perfect level, a value
we now express as S (big s). The number of pennies
kept in circulation is derived from the Estabansa
equation of continental float:
S
= population (t) x Estabansa constant 12.233(E) x
weight of a pennies (v) [% Rate of glacial melting
(i) x Rate of lava cooling (L)]
This
equation has kept the new world properly aligned for
the last one hundred years.
A penny is created by spraying liquid copper at high
speeds through a fine mesh of steel wool the shape
of Abe Lincoln.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
**- How can something be too high”?
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BEHOLD!
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THURSTON
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ATOMIC
THEATER
What
are you, but the sum of your parts? Do these parts need
to be entertained? The French have a word; Ennui is a listlessness
and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest in a
topic and boredom. This feeling, in actuality, is a by-product
of boredom; in a layer of consciousness you are not aware
of. These feelings are natural and can happen to anyone.
[Warning:
What transpires is purely a matter of pseudo-science to
tell an interesting way of experiencing YOUR OWN REALITY!
Those who wish to subject the following flights of fancy
with actual science are embarking on a fool's errand that
rivaled as much as the crusades. With that said, it is truly
only a fool who subjects his reality to that which he can
explain. There is more happiness to be known in the mystery
than you may be led to believe.]
Within an atom there are electrons that are neither here
nor there, but only for an instance, they are everywhere.
At your basic level of creation, the atom, you are nothing
but electrons spinning together. Paying attention to this
spin gets boring after awhile. So you stop paying attention,
and start paying attention to higher, more interesting levels
of energy. Forsaking old systems as just plain work, as
they should, every once in a while these forgotten games
get out of sync with the rest of the unconscious. This is
the cause of ennui.
To fix this sync problem, you must simply undertake an activity
that appeals to your most basic instincts, seeing a movie.
Why you ask? Simply put, the setup of the Movie Theater
box office acts and reflects the behavior of the basic atom.
Patrons stand outside in confused blobs of smoking teens,
an obtrusively large party of friends waiting for the last
member to get back from Subway and five people just trying
to buy a ticket. The sunny interior of the atom is populated
with people constantly in motion, coming and going from
concessions, from the lobby, to the arcade, to the unknown
blackness of the theaters, and finally returning to the
hurried, chaotic order of the theater exteriors. The Atomic
Theatre Experience is much like life in an atom. You wind
up traveling through chaos to find order and then on to
the black theater of the next universe. The electrons return
to their natural behavior when the show is over. This time
frame is generally 90 minutes.
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FEATURED STEVE
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FEATURED ARTIST: JOHNNY MARNELL - Phoenix,
AZ
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Johnny
Marnell first fell in love with the guitar in second
grade and has been faithful ever since. Music has
been his best friend and number one passion for as
long as he can remember, and his quality of work demonstrates
his love of the artform. Johnny sees music, namely,
the live performance, as a two-way street; if the
audience isn’t having fun, neither is he. His
goal is to make music to nod heads to, whether from
appreciation or involuntarily grooving with the supplied
funk. He is an energetic performer, with hips and
legs moving almost as much as hands and mouth –playing
and singing is second nature fun to him, and the effect
is downright contagious.
Check him out! - [http://www.johnnymarnell.com]
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GET
STUCK!
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AXIS
OF STEVIL SUMMER 2005 CATALOG
[Download
2005 Catalog]
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