[The
following is a true historical accounting of the organization
as recorded in the tomes and great history books of
the brotherhood, stored in the great vault of the
Vatican city, and transcribed for you here] |
|
2550
B.C. |
King
Steviankh Khufu Founds The brother hood and orders
club house built for meetings. http://homepage.powerup.com.au/~ancient/pc11.htm |
776
B.C. |
Steverlie
Aristophanes Wins 1st Olympic Chariot race outside
of Olympia. Uses winnings to found chain of Highly
successfully bath houses. |
200
B.C. |
Augustus
Stevil becomes Emperor of Rome. A period of great
roman expansion is enjoyed and he is hailed as one
of the 5 great leaders of the known world. |
23
A.D. |
1st
honorary Steven title given to Jesus for bringing
the booze. |
1066 |
Stephan
of Normandy invades England, defeats last Saxon king,
Harold II, at Battle of Hastings, crowned William
I of England ("The Conqueror"). |
1217 |
Steve
Paccini and Marco Polo of Venice travels to China,
in court of Kublai Khan (12751292), They return
to Genoa in1295. Polo writes Travels, Paccini invents
new pool game based on hilarious exploits in china. |
1300 |
Pope
Maria XI declares the brotherhood of Stevil a threat
to the known world. A great Inquisition ensues and
the ranks of the brother hood are hunted down and
destroyed. Denotes the beginning of the "Real"
Dark Ages. |
1347 |
Stevil
Colombo, a Genoese sailor, carried the Black Death
from Cyprus to the port of Messina in Sicily, thus
beginning the great plague that killed some 1/4 -1/3
population of Europe. |
1506 |
Luther
Steven, Renowned painter and intellect of the Renaissances
reconstitutes the brother hood in Rome. Paints several
church ceilings to raise funds for 1st Stevil party.
Due to later debts to the King, Luther goes into hiding
and changes name to Michelangelo. |
1560 |
Queen
Elizabeth I. appoints Steven of Avon to ghost write
a series of plays and sonnets for her retarded and
oafish cousin in law William. Gets big ups from Sir
Walter Raleigh. |
1588 |
The
Defeat of the Spanish Armada by the English. Lead
by Sir Charles Steverborn. The hero of the seven Spanish
mains. 1st great hero of the new Order. |
1614 |
John
Napier discovers logarithms. No Steven was present. |
1630 |
Steven
Standish Lands at Plymouth Rock. The Master Carpenter
Helps lead the colony with a quick and sturdy construction. |
1732 |
Benjamin
Franklin begins publishing Poor Richard's Almanac.
Youngest ever member Steveie James, Has 1st American
paper route. |
1790 |
Steven
Morris's Brotherhood hall of Philadelphia PA temporary
capital of U.S. as Congress votes to establish new
capital on Potomac. |
1799 |
Rosetta
Stone discovered & Deciphered in Egypt. Original
Tomes and records of the Brotherhood transcribed into
every modern language. |
1826 |
Joseph-Nicéphore
Niepce takes the world's first photograph. Subject:
Team Trophy Photo of The local Brother Hood #034 Log
rolling team. |
1836 |
Steven
Bowie leads Texans against Mexico to gain independence.
Succeeded after winning Battle of San Jacinto. Bowie
elected only King of Texas. |
1840 |
Lower
and Upper Canada united. |
1842 |
Crawford
Stevilake uses first anesthetic (ether) for recreation,
later realizes it's medical implications and Sells
Own brand Of Dr Crawford's Miracle Fortifying Syrup. |
1866 |
Alfred
Nobel invents dynamite (patented in Britain, 1867).
Neighbor Nathaniel Stevensons swears "I'm gonna
name an award after you one day Neighbor". |
1872 |
Jules
& Steven Verne adventure around the world in 67
days. Steven writes a novel Re-telling their adventures.
It doesn't sell. Younger Brother Jules re-works book
omitting all references to the two-week layover in
a Chinese opium den. Books sells fantastically. |
1906 |
Stevenski
Amundsen, Norwegian explorer, Finds magnetic North
Pole. |
1914 |
Brotherhood
world council convenes for the 1st time to calm tensions
and hopefully avoid a world war. A meeting of the
world powers is planned but derailed by Maria slovanchavich
of Serbia when she makes an off color remark about
the arch dukes wife. |
1929 |
Elliot
N. Stevenmier. Fights organized Crime in Chicago.
Declared man of the Year and presented Key to the
city donated to the Smithsonian (1975). |
1937 |
Brotherhood
calls for the end of Nazi terror, World leaders leave
warnings unheeded. Brotherhood withdrawals from League
of Nations in protests. Founds Axis of Stevil (April
7th, 1937). |
1943 |
2nd
honorary Steven title given to Gandhi. |
1967 |
President
Nixon's Public Socialality intern, Steven Stephanopolis,
is involved in a government scandal. He is admitted
into the witness relocation program in an attempt
to cover the President's ass. He changes his name
to Neil Armstrong and becomes active in space exploration
research. His career in NASA is nearly as successful
as his time in the White House. |
1969 |
Amateur
Film student Steven Jackson films 3-day concert in
Woodstock. |
1974 |
In
order to speed inter-chapter communication. The Axis
develops a complex computer Network. Called Arpanet
it's success is instantaneous and is quickly adopted
by The US government marking the begin of the Internet. |
1980 |
63,882
Stevens jump at the same time in a silent tribute
to john Lennon after his death. |
2000
- Present |
The
Axis launches a worldwide campaign to enlighten the
world. |