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THE
NEW AGE OF VILLAINY
Beware
of Darker Brothers games. This new Viacom subsidiary is
staffed with some of history’s most recent villains.
These fiends have devised a new plot to conquer the world.
By instilling their image and position in childhood games
and toys, they will become icons of a generation and will
rise to power as their targets mature and take over
Each Dark Brothers game from “Lotten
Plunder's Not Sorry” To "Shredda's KerDUNKED!"
comes with carefully crafted subliminal messages and instructions.
These compel the player to buy and consume everything that
the false icons offer onto the market. Research groups have
proven that test subjects exposed to Darker Brother games
had greater tendencies towards socially deviant behavior.
This conditioning is known to as jellystoneisim, a mass
hypnosis technique first observed by accident with the syndication
of Yogi Bear. An epidemic of lunch thefts were recorded
the year Yogi Bear hit the height of his popularity. This
one event has issued in subsequent generations of petty
thefts that has resulted in the modern day refrigerator
burglar.
Krang
and Lord Zed came to this plot over a game of mini golf
in a freshly decimated city. The two realized the consumerism
and information had drowned the conventional villain. They
felt the only way to carry on their lineage was to install
themselves into heart and mind of every home in America.
The board game was the weapon of choice.
Keep
you wits about you in this modern market place. Watch where
you money goes and support those who deserve it.
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TIME SQUARE
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HOTDOG
-
A Daily Contribution by Jennie
Lewis
HotDog
Gallery |
MOMENT
OF ULTIMATE DEFEAT
A
fascinating feature of reality is luck, the probability
for a turn of events in your favor. Society would teach
you that luck is beyond your control, and not a factor.
This statement could not be further from the truth! To deny
luck is hit-yourself-on-the thumb-with-a-hammer stupid.
There is a breed of snake known as the Masticophis Flagellum.
It is the unluckiest serpent of all the snake family. Nature
has trained this creature to take its ill windfalls in stride.
Because of this, Masticophis has developed a pliable exterior
skin of immeasurable tensile strength. It is resistant to
water, chemical acids, frying pans, fire, freeze, and BB
guns. For all intensive purposes the creature is invincible.
Any other creature with such power would quickly rise to
the top of the animal food chain. What holds Masticophis
back is bad luck. The creature seems destined to always
have the worst turns of fate; thusly, the snake will often
find himself caught in the ultimate defeat of any given
situation. An experience best described as “ownage”.
Whether it be slithering out of its hole in the morning
or trying to slink away after dinner, a rock will always
fall or a trap will always close on him.
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UPDATED!
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St/Evil
St/Evil
Cartoon Gallery |
ASK
STEVIL
[
ASK A QUESTION!
]
Responses
Dear
Stevil,
I was wondering if you had any advice
for a dunk person who was visiting your site and
thinking to themselves "is this a run on scentence?"
Cause ya know it is kina long. I am having trouble
typing and all so I will keep this short. Do you
know of any girls that will sleep with me? If you
do will you give them my contact number?
- Drunk Bastard
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Dear
Captain Jean Luc Bastard,
According
to The Axis of Stevil Handbook: Section 13.5b “Desperate
Drunk Calls for Grammar Help” this organization
is very glad you asked these very important questions
as it is essential to any reader to have the ability
to recognize and note the problem with run-on sentences
being that they are really long, as you stated and
thought to yourself in your drunken stupor and the
only advice to offer you would be the only just thing
for an organization, much like this one, to do and
that advice is this, “If you are paying too
much attention to grammar and spelling and run-on
sentences you are missing the quality of the content,
no matter where it originates.**
As
per your request for some girl(s) who would be willing
to sleep with you, The Axis of Stevil is willing to
share a few comments which may be of some assistance
to you. First, The Axis of Stevil is very flattered
and appreciative of the fact that you could manage
to spend your drunken time and energy in browsing
its site instead of trying to find girls on your own.
Bee, there are plenty of very nice, beautiful women
in this world and the majority of them like to sleep
for some time during each day. It is just a matter
of finding the ones who sleep at the same time you
do. Three) the numbering and labeling system in this
response is almost as effective as your ability in
picking up said women to join your for sleeping. Deltas,
if none of the above comments are of any use try following
the instructions that were found in the third stall
at the Offices of The Axis of Stevil (pictured below).
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
**
- Grammar check on Word really hated that I typed
that sentence. |
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FEATURED ARTIST: EMILY LOZEN - Greenville,
NC
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THE AXIS OF MONTAGE - CONTEST!
Do
you consider yourself a Stevil-FANatic? Prove it! Name
all of the characters in this scene to enter for a chance
to win a free bumper sticker from the Axis of Stevil.
Simply download the interactive Entry
Form and either print, fill in the blanks and mail
it in, or type your responses, save and submit it to The
Axis of Stevil via email.
All entries must be received by the 10th of
July.
Wallpaper
Assortment
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Entry Form
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cartoons for fullsize comic view |
GET
STUCK!
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AXIS
OF STEVIL SUMMER 2005 CATALOG
[Download
2005 Catalog]
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