THE DEATH OF SATAN

Today, the world mourns the tragic assassination of Sir Hercule Satan, who was not only a decorated martial arts master, but was also an accomplished altruist with a gentle nature. Monday afternoon, Sir Satan was on his way to an awards ceremony (just weeks after being knighted by the queen of England for protecting the fate of Earth through his victory in the Cell Games) when he was murdered while acknowledging a swarm of admirers in a crowded downtown East Shore, NE boulevard.

East Shore police have gathered information and have a number of undisclosed suspects. This case is especially difficult, since there has been no bullet found at the crime scene, nor did anyone in the vicinity hear gunshots. Among the evidence found in Satan’s home is a large suitcase, filled with 100,000,000 Zeni (approx. 843,950 USD) containing a manila envelope and a letter addressed to “Eighteen”. Investigators have also discovered that Satan had a possible drug problem, after maids and students told police that he claimed to see, what he called, “Golden Fighters” and that his best friend was a large, pink, nose-less man with “a dangly do-dad on his head.”

However, no person is without flaws. Whatever the motive behind is this disheartening event, we shall always remember Sir Hercule Satan as a back-to-back World Martial Arts Tournament Champion, a doting family man, and most of all, a hero.