U.F.N. SIGHTING!
According
to Stevil Census Data, the second most well known conspiracy
theory is the notion that Catholic nuns have the ability
to fly. While the thought of these Unidentified Flying
Nuns (UFN) seems preposterous to some, it is believed
by many to be a fact. Speculation still remains as to
how the Nuns acquired this ability; do they command powers
given to them by god? Are nuns actually agents of an alien
race left as crowd control for the human masses? Whatever
the source, UFNs are said to be creatures that can fly
as high as 700 feet and can reach speeds upwards of 30
miles an hour.
Earlier
this year, photographic evidence of a UFN flying towards
Arizona with a case labeled "1800", was captured
by United States Border Security Post 43. The security
camera at the installation had recently been upgraded
with a thermal image enhancement system to pinpoint border
crossers at night. On the tape, a viewer can plainly see
a nun shaped blob pass across the screen. As the first
tangible evidence of Nunronautics, it set off alarms in
the office of the joint chiefs. It was then that, then
Hairdresser, Peter Pace read the brief and saw the photos
that had been mistakenly filed in the trash. . . .
