Thank
you for your interest. My name is F. Merkin and
I want to tell you about an exciting experience
to dazzle the hardest shut-in; The BI-Annual Association
of Hermits local #003 Chapter. If you weren’t
previously aware, The BiAHs seek to improve the
overall standards and quality of shut-ins and introverts.
This event will feature several lectures and classes
for your interest. Enclosed is the day’s itinerary.
The
BI-Annual Association of Hermits local #003
Event Itinerary:
9:00am:
Arrival and Check-In
9:45am:
Opening Remarks: Ice Breaking Q & A with TAB
and Daylight Doughnuts*.
10:00am:
Archibald (Pete) Murphies, of Ashland Kentucky,
gives a demonstration of advanced whittling and
figurine techniques. Watch Pete carve a beautiful
rose in less then 75 seconds!
11:00am:
Exhibiters and salesmen from several leading blinds
makers, like Hunter Douglas, or Bali Grabler will
be in attendance. Their 30 minute presentations
will catch you up on all the modern achievements
made in the field of blind construction, and agoraphobic
conscious features. Using polyfoloboic induction
process these "Super Blinds" will appear
seamless to anyone looking towards your window.
Yet you will have a peep whole the size of a 2ft
by 2ft square. Now you can see what thoses kids
are doing!
12:00
pm: Lunch break. Crabby patties, Hot & Spicy
Cheez-its and “Darwinian” Punch will
be served. A drawing for door prizes will be given.
You could go home with a $100 gift certificate from
Hunter Douglas.
1:30pm
: Tawnee Brandle shares her worries and apprehensions
with you. Find out what you really should be scared
about, plus several more. Her insight comes from
secret government transmissions coming from within
her plants. As a hermit, Tawnee kept her own greenhouse
that once started talking to her. Her prolific insight
from this experience has given her strong misgivings
about the future. Now is your chance to FINALLY
find out what they don't want you to know!
4:30pm
: Closing remarks, Parking validation lineup.
5:00pm
: Conference ends: THANKS FOR COMMING!
I
hope to see you at our next BiAH Convention! Remember
your registration dues, and be sure to bring your
social security card and checkbook for immediate
on-site shutter financing!
*Special
thanks to Hunter Douglas for providing the Mornings
Refreshments and several chairs.
F.
Merkin
Associate Vice Person In Charge
Association of Herits local #003 |
