NOT AS GOOD AS 'THE
ORIGINAL'
It
started as an anonymous tip called in from the Wacky Land
and House of Pancakes. The tip led authorities to the Hillcrest
Trailer Park, home of Shirley the Loon. Hearing shouts,
the police entered the home to find Ms. Loon and her boyfriend,
Gogo Dodo, injecting large amounts of KLOVAAH!-XIN, a Rheumatic
arthritis drug that works as a steroid in toons.
The couple had made news recently as stars of the 371st
Laugh Olympics, the annual trialthlon between Acme Looniversity
and Perfecto Prep. Both Gogo and Shirley had set records
in the 10m Head Toss and Anvil Lift, These results have
been heavily contested by Perfecto Prep since the discovery
of steroid use.
Under interrogation, case investigator, Jerald Hastins,
discovered the athletes were nothing but mules in the international
drug cartel of Montana Max. Hastins struck a plea bargain
to have their charges dropped and protection provided in
exchange for information against Montana Max.
Gogo’s publicized testimony before the Special Committee
on Cartoon Violence enthralled television audiences with
a chilling tale of the inner workings and violence of Montana's
crime syndicate. Prostitution, drugs, and Blue slavery,
Max dabbled in everything illegal; furthering his goal of
world domination.
Uncovered, Max barricaded himself inside his compound and
held the FBI at a standoff for 11 days. Acting under special
orders, the compound was raided by FBI agents and National
Guard troops at sunrise of the twelth day. Authorities,
expecting to find a fight, were shocked to discover the
bodies of Max and Mistress Elmira dead from an apparent
lover's suicide pact.
Acme Looniversity won the 371st Laugh Olympics by a score
of 32 to 17.
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