MAMMOTH
The
most misunderstood creature to have walked on this planet
is the "Woolly" Mammoth. You doubt? You think
that this is a lie that rivals the likes of the Harding
administration during their oil-selling debacle? It’s
true; the mysterious Mammoth is one of a small handful of
earth bound mammals that is born with a detachable fur coat
(thankfully with attached washing instructions). The Mammoth
is the son of the great Deacon Pterodactyl, a bird so well
renown in the circuit that to mention his name is to inspire
a tizzy of long conversation that wax on nostalgically.
The Mammoth’s mother was Elizabeth P. Ester, a graduate
professor at the University of California, Paleotecha. How
two well-adjusted pterodactyls came to have a creature like
the Woolly Mammoth is a mystery for the ages, and a topic
of hot religious debate between the Coven of Raptors and
the Holy Order of Brachiosaurs.
While
the common perception of the Mammoth is that it is a lumbering
furry beast that wanders the tundra west of 57th street,
this is not the case. The Woolly Mammoth is a quiet artisan
living a modest existence in a log house in the Catskill
Mountains. His house holds the framed corpse of his mother
who tragically crashed into the side of the house one infamous
4th of July. Tragically Ester crashed through a load-bearing
log and to remove her would be to collapse the house. Rather
then destroy a good house and go through all the trouble
of filling out change of address forms, the Mammoth framed
his mother in a life like 3D scene. At night the Mammoth
can be seen solemnly reading by this somber picture. That
is if he's not playing "Balls of Steel".
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