The Science of Tomorrow, Today!

Fad medical ideas have found commonplace in our culture. Every ten years, like clockwork, a new "science" is invented or rehashed. If they catch on, these breakthrough health fads (bHADS) can become part of our everyday cycle of life, much like The Atkins Diet or Mormon Faith. Recent advancements in the metric system lend new credibility to the science of Phrenology. Recently appearing in major headlines with Woody Haralson opening his fifth Phrenological head shop, phrenology seems set to once again take the medical community by storm.

This news comes as great relief to the struggling mannequin workforce that has seen tremendous losses in the past three quarters, with many jobs being lost overseas to unemployed Lenin and Mao statues willing to work cheap. A boom in Phrenology could give a fresh start to many mannequins who are unable to find legitimate work in the service sector. While this will only provide temporary relief to the mannequin economy, and will overlook the many underlying social concerns of nippled vs. un-nippled mannequins, this advancement could be the spark needed to reignite the once golden industry of bombastic plastic figures.