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UPDATED!
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POWER TO THE PEOPLE
The Axis of Stevil has received a great honor for its continued support of local affairs around the world. Steve Buck, superintendent of East Shore public schools has asked the Axis of Stevil to select a mascot for the soon-to-be renovated East Shore High School. For the past two months, loyal Steves, Stephens, and Stevens worked diligently by calling registered voters and asking them to support the East Shore School Bond initiative. Currently, East Shore, Nebraska is a town that is quickly blossoming. Looming military conflicts and quagmires have been a boom to the proving grounds, located on the outskirts of town. This has brought a large influx of families and given the local economy a swift kick. Sadly, the town’s high school, with its limited resources, has not been able to grow to meet the new demands of the community. In the coming fall of 2007, the total enrollment will balloon to 2200 students, while the current facility was designed to hold a scrimpy 600 students. The tranquil little town never thought it would become a bustling city.
With the approval of the bond initiative, plans to convert East Shore High into a modern leaning institution will begin. Within the expansion budget is $200,000 to start East Shore High’s first AAA men’s football team. Superintendent Buck, to thank the Axis of Stevil, has asked that we chrysene the team a mascot of our choosing. Since this great windfall for East Shore is the work of the people. We ask that you use the form below to submit suggestions for the East Shore High School mascot! The best suggestion will be commemorated on high-quality Axis of Stevil-brand T-shirts. Send in your suggestions for a chance to be the shining symbol of Stevilization for an exceptional new education facility. |
Thanks for your entry! ");
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ASK STEVIL
Responses
Are stingrays becoming more violent?
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Dear _____________,
Before we begin, The Axis of Stevil would like the reader to know that this particular subject has most certainly been the weight tied to our waist for the past few months. We remain serious and aware of the stingray threat. We were deeply saddened by the loss of, possibly, the greatest pioneer of Stevilization in the twentieth century, Steve Irwin. Despite a few human-on-ray attacks, Sir Irwin’s message of peace spread even further into the world. I believe 80’s glam metal sensation, Cinderella, puts it best: “Don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.”
Yes, concerned Stevilian, stingrays are indeed becoming increasingly violent. As always, The Axis of Stevil’s bona fide team of marine biologists, apply named the Association of Stingray Scientists and Educated Society, quickly reacted to this recent hostile behavior by pressing buttons and pulling levers. The A.S.S.E.S. facilities are located directly beneath Shamu #11’s prison tank in Sea World in charming Orlando, Florida. There, they conducted many tests with rays that had human interaction with rays that have never encountered humans. The rays that had been around humans proved to be “much more belligerent than their more natural counterparts.” After hours of meticulous debate and Soul Calibur III, the A.S.S.E.S. concluded that the anger-inducing culprit was, in fact, something they called “karma”.
The Axis of Stevil understands that karma isn’t always as delicious as it sounds. Before humans question the actions of stingrays, perhaps we should begin to analyze our own behavior.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil |
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FEATURED ARTIST: Carolina Still |
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WHO IS Carolina Still:
J. Alan Casey finger picks and strums the banjo to give a hard-edged bluegrass sound while J. Robert Norman aggressively strums the guitar, rock-n-roll style, while stomping out a beat on a homemade stomp box. Casey also adds the percussion of a hi-hat. Bassist Eric G. Holmes rounds out the sound with his flowing lines on the upright bass.
J. Allan Casey - Banjo, Vocals, Kazoo, Percussion
J. Robert Norman - Guitar, Vocals, Harmonica, Percussion
Eric G. Holmes - Upright Bass
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