Dear
Plexie,
Do you know grammar? We believe you meant
to say ”Why is the java bean evil
and glorious at the same time?” Your
question stumbles onto an important but
little known fact on the origins of the
internet. You see there are two types of
Javas in this world. The coffee, which is
a drink too elegant to even mention in these
short terms, and the small race of creatures
that originated in Columbia but have evolved
into telecommunication beings that live
in the internet. These beings, in a hope
to turn a quick buck, sold spyware and adware
in the early hay day of the war. They soon
became decidedly wealthy, so wealthy in
fact, that they do not have to work anymore.
Which affords them A LOT of spare time.With
this spare time the JavaBeans have decided,
as a race, to be jerks! This conscious,
mass decision happened one day when every
JavaBean thought it would just be nice to
sit down and have a quick card game. Scholars
and various universities have speculated
as to the cause of this bizarre large scale
coincidence. But thus far the most comprehensive
report concludes that “everybody just
felt like it”. Noted JavaBeans include
Estanban Beanino, One of the most successful
business beans during his time in the war.
When the choice came, Estaban decided to
be the living embodiment of a Clint Eastwood
movie villain. This response would afford
him the pleasure of spending his days visiting
ghost towns and related theme parks and
shoot around the feet of unsuspecting terrorists.
Plexie, the Axis of Stevil believes that
you suffer from a java haunting. There is
no medical cure for your ailment; a JavaBean
just choses to be a jerk. Your only fix
is you must abandon this worthless language,
let it suffer in the tome of history. Adopt
a new language such as C++, PhP or any Mac
related programming field [ed. We need you].
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil
P.S.
In regards to your second question. Yes
we like that Strongbad thing too.
