STRAIGHT TO DVD

Frat houses rejoice! This summer’s biggest blockbuster promises to provide limitless loads of laughs. Straight to DVD is proud to present the next two years of TBS filler, Pogs of Passion. John C. Reilly stars as Chaz Butler, a 33 year-old, single telemarketer who yearns for a different direction in life after having to move his office supplies in the janitorial closet, spilling coffee on the office hottie’s (Alyssa Milano) important documents, and other cliché cinematic catastrophes. To make things worse, Chaz’s long-lost cousin, Snide Willerskip, (Vince Vaughn) visits Chaz to inform him of his uncle’s passing. Snide explains he is visiting Chaz because his bar is going to be turned into a shopping mall if he doesn’t come up with $71,500.

Yet there is still a glimmer of hope. Chaz also discovers that his uncle Walter Willerskip (Morgan Freeman) was a legendary milkcap master who spent his entire life savings on slammer made of Vibranium, the strongest metal in the world. The cousins decide to cooperate in finding Walter Willerskip’s super slammer so they can enter the National Milkcap Championship, in Perfection, NC, in hopes of winning the $72,000 prize. If they succeed, Snide promises to give Chaz his fair share of $250 so he can impress the office hottie with an exquisite date. Their expedition takes them throughout exotic Midwest America where they encounter many obstacles, including the malevolent Mystical Milkcap Monks (Will Ferrell, Steve Buscemi, and Christopher Walken as the Prominent Pog Patriarch).

Hilarity ensues when the duo utilizes their training to slam their way into the finals. If you like movies about alternative athletics, chock full of 10-second cameos and jokes about homophobia, you’re slam Pogs of Passion in your digital versatile disc processing unit.