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NOT ANOTHER A GNOME MOVIE
It
was a wildly sorted affair in the village of Wickerbriar.
David the Gnome a respected doctor and community leader
was exposed as fathering an illegitimate child with the
young Lisa Curvet, a 175-year-old gnome. At one point
farmer Kurvalt, Lisa’s troll stepfather, had threatened
to eat David should he ever get near his daughter. With
nothing else to do, David fled town one summer’s
January night. Accompanied by his oldest friend, Swift,
the pair set out to seek their fortunes and find their
future in the wild world.
So
begins the many misadventures of a gnome:
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LANGUAGE
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NOT AS GOOD AS 'THE
ORIGINAL'
It
started as an anonymous tip called in from the Wacky Land
and House of Pancakes. The tip led authorities to the Hillcrest
Trailer Park, home of Shirley the Loon. Hearing shouts,
the police entered the home to find Ms. Loon and her boyfriend,
Gogo Dodo, injecting large amounts of KLOVAAH!-XIN, a Rheumatic
arthritis drug that works as a steroid in toons.
The couple had made news recently as stars of the 371st
Laugh Olympics, the annual trialthlon between Acme Looniversity
and Perfecto Prep. Both Gogo and Shirley had set records
in the 10m Head Toss and Anvil Lift, These results have
been heavily contested by Perfecto Prep since the discovery
of steroid use. . .
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ASK
STEVIL
Responses
Why
is Cheerwine made only in North and South Carolina?
Your
#1 fan
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Dear main air-conditioning unit,
The
answer to this inquiry is located deep within the
Axis of Stevil History Texts. Hold the flaming stick
and watch your step.
The
answer takes us all the way back to the year 1917,
smack-dab in the middle of World War I. Europe, as
a whole, was taking quite a beating during this period.
The price of food skyrocketed and rations were entirely
too small to sustain our over-seas citizens. Due to
the lack of food, these people suffered chemical imbalances
within their brains, which were proven to be early
detections of bipolar disorder (or Xanga Fuel, as
it is referred to in modern terms).
The
United States had declared war against Germany earlier
in the year, so Europe looked to us for aid with their
indigent, famished individuals. The United States
gladly took these people into refuge and stationed
them into asylums located in North and South Carolina.
However, the nurses and doctors noticed that these
people, having suffered malnourishment, produced abnormal
brain activity. They quickly developed a treatment
called "Cheer-Whine" to represent both stages
of bipolar disorder. Not only did "Cheer-Whine"
alleviate the irregular brain ailments, it was quite
tasty to boot. Once the Europeans were returned safely,
the developers of this delicious drug decided to capitalize
their creation. With a quick name change, the modern-day
Cheerwine was unveiled.
Regards,
The Axis of Stevil |
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FEATURED ARTIST: 5th Generation
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WHO
IS 5th Generation:
Sean Gregory - Guitar, lead vocals
Joe Petriello - Bass
Austin Lewis - Drums
Joel Santora - Percussion
Out of Greenville, NC, these four sublime musicians
seek good times, great music, and the thrill of entertaining
live audiences. With influences like Sublime, Pepper
and Jimi Hendrix, 5th Generation will make your body
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